On Our Way

Steps One and Two

Our Life on two carts

On August 4 my Husband Myles, our two cats Gru and Luna and I took off from Toronto to start our new life in Costa Rica! 

This isn’t really where the story begins but it is a beginning. 

We could hardly sleep that night even though we knew the next day would be long with many unknown challenges, but how can you sleep the night before you head for a new country that you will call home?  There had been 5 months of intense planning, purging, tears, fear, and excitement all coming to this moment. 

Step One:

We were met by our Scottish escort to pack our 22 totes, one bicycle, two carry-on packs, two cats and ourselves to Toronto International Airport.  Jimmy got us there about half an hour before the counters even opened for Avianca Airlines and our totes were swept into the airport with 2 porters.  Now we had been handling these totes with care.  Our entire lives were in there, from cherished ceramic pottery, Myles’ electronics equipment for his hobbies and tools, to computer equipment for our livelihood, were in there.  We had been handling them with care, placing them carefully whenever they needed to be moved.  I saw these men slogging them and crashing them down on the ground and the other bins.  I knew that that would not be the last time they would be thrown around.

With a quick thank you and goodbye we saw Jimmy drive away and headed into the airport to wait.

Cats and Carry-on
Step Two:

Oh, the look in the staff’s eyes when they saw our wall of totes to be checked.  They moved us off to the side so as not to hold up the other passengers.  It took us the entire 4 hours to just check our bags with a warning that not all of them may arrive with us. They could only guarantee 2 each and the others may not come until a later flight.  Also, the payment for half of our totes that we had paid for online mysteriously did not show in their system.  It was an interesting start.

Lets check-in

We were also not aware that Myles’ bike needed to be taken apart and packed in a wood case for transport.  The airport does provide a shrink wrap service that was given as an option but the tires had to be taken off in order to make it more compact.  Myles had to do this without access to tools while I moved totes to the airline scales and then set them to the side to go through the big scanners.

Once his bike was ready it was checked and all the totes went for inspection through the large x-ray machine.  Myles will tell this story in a later blog.

After everything was weighed, scanned stickered and zip tied the airline attendant that helped us check in walked us to security.  Step two to the day was now complete!

Building Resilience in Uncertain Times

How often have we heard the word resilience in the past year?  Right now as a society are under a lot of unexpected stress from the pandemic. Now we are expected to draw on this elusive thing called resilience.  What is it?  How do we bring it into our lives? 

Definition:

Psychology Today defines resilience as; “the psychological quality that allows some people to be knocked down by the adversities of life and come back at least as strong as before. Rather than letting difficulties, traumatic events, or failure overcome them and drain their resolve, highly resilient people find a way to change course, emotionally heal, and continue moving toward their goals.”  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/resilience

I had an opportunity to create a presentation on resilience to a group locally. During that session,  I asked the participants to define what resilience meant to them. As a result, many used words like survival, persistence, and putting up a good fight.  Others described it as a bouncing back, a sense of refocusing, patience and adaptation.  It is interesting to see these two perspectives. What is behind the difference in how we relate to resilience?  The short answer is intention.

Intention:
Woman leaping a gap in the rocks

When we are in a challenging situation and our intention behind resilience is FEAR, we have a fight and survive response.  As a result, we close ourselves off and protective of ourselves and those close to us. We rely on how we have always managed challenging times. 

When our intention within a challenging situation is to approach it with CURIOSITY, then we use the language of opportunity, bouncing back and growth.  Here we tend to be more open and searching for new ways of adjusting to a challenge.  There is more of a sense of choice here.

Some individuals are more naturally resilient even after living extremely challenging lives.  Others can feel trapped in what feels like an unending loop. The same challenges and reactions – kind of like a looping Ground Hog Day.  We are lifted out of this endless loop by building resilience. This is done by shifting your thought patterns or intentions to curiosity and looking for opportunities when you are presented with challenges. 

How to Create Resilience

You can create resilience in your life. Contact Coach Libby for details on upcoming workshops

Time – Shifting and What We Can Do About It

I have been speaking with quite a few people over the past few weeks. They mentioned that our sense of time seems really weird right now.  How often during this pandemic have you found yourself losing track of what day or month it is?  Even the time of day seems to drag or slip.  More than once I have put down the wrong month in my dateline. Even now I am floored by the fact that it is already June.  Where did April and May go? 

The pandemic has shifted our normal routine. It could be that you lost your job or have had to shift to working from home in less than ideal conditions. Some people have worked right through all of this, but there is still a weirdness in time that can’t be explained away by the loss of routine.

Structure

The pandemic has certainly messed with the structure of peoples lives and what we expected.  I live in cottage country and it was surreal to have the first long weekend of cottage season be so quiet.  Usually, there are boats on the lake and loud music on a Friday and Saturday night.  Other than a few rebellious teens jumping into the lake from the bridge and sneaking in precious time close to their friends, the lake was uncharacteristically quiet. 

This messes with our sense of time. 

For those who drive into work still and notice the traffic is much reduced, have a sense of weirdness because they don’t have the same amount of time to prepare or decompress from work as they had before sitting in traffic.

The weather is not helping either.  This late spring/early summer has shifted from swelteringly hot to freezing.  I know that just a few hours north of us here there was snow on Wednesday night.  This is also taking us off-kilter.

Relativity of time – Albert Einstein

When I was considering time as my Focus of the Week.  I first thought of my favourite scientist, Albert Einstein and his theory of Relativity and specifically the Relativity of Time.   I am sure you weren’t expecting a science lesson so I will keep it to a really light version. In scientific experiements time is usually used as a constant That is not actually true.  The only constant is the measure of the speed of light (even then it can be distorted by major things like black holes). 

Time can be shifted by how fast a clock is physically moving.  So, if you had two clocks that were totally in sync with each other and then have them travel at different speeds to a new location, then when they were stationary together again, they would be out of sync.  Time can be manipulated, shifted and changed.  

Science fiction

Time has also been the main focus of so many movies and TV shows. Being very much a geek I can recall more than a dozen that deal with time travel, manipulating time and eddies in the space-time continuum. 

People are fascinated with time because we have always felt so bound by it.  When to get up, when to go to school or work. When to go to bed.  The biggest rebellion or privilege as a youngster was to stay up or sleep in.

We feel like we are a slave of time, but we wish to take control of time.  Therefore, we make so many movies and TV shows about it.

Metaphysical

In some areas of thinking and believing, time is something that can be manipulated by our individual thinking.  So, you can speed up or slow down time just by the way you think about it.  One example would be getting to a meeting on time.  If you think that there is more than enough time to get to my meeting on time, then the universe will ensure that happens for you regardless of the things that may delay you.  So even though you have every red light and parking is difficult; as long as you focus on the fact that you will be there on time you will be.  When you arrive, you realize everyone is late and you actually arrived 10 minutes before everyone else and are therefore actually early.  (it is a thing, check it out).

Perception

Then, of course, there is the element of perception about time.   Have you ever been out and had such a great experience that time slips away??  Or that amazing date, where you look at your watch or cell phone and 4 hours have gone by and you thought you had only been there an hour?  It can also be the opposite where you find yourself having to do something or be in a place you dread. It feels like hours have gone by yet it is only been 5 minutes.  Our perception of time moves fast when having fun and so slow when we are not.

Look at your calendar. Are you booked solid? That can very well be true, then let’s say an emergency hits and suddenly the calendar becomes wide open. This busy-ness is perception and can shift with shifting priorities.

We can create that idea of time deprivation and of time credit with the way we think about it.  This is slightly different than the metaphysical way of focusing on it in the sense that we decide what our priorities are and how we want to allocate the time that we have.  Priorities can shift by how much importance we give to things.

My experience

Over the past month, I felt like a hamster in a wheel. Scrambling to complete items for my business and contracts. 

We had a thunderstorm that just whipped out of nowhere, so we scrambled to batten down the hatches, turn off all the computers and our entertainment system.  Because of the severe thunderstorm warnings and tornado warnings, I decided to hang out downstairs and even put down my phone. 

I find after a long day with multiple responsibilities, that all I want to do is sit and veg in front of the TV.  That night it wasn’t an option.  I decided to sit and read a book.  Then after a couple of chapters, I dove into some other projects I had wanted to do but felt like I had no time.  By the time I was ready to go to bed, I had accomplished so much. I had previously told myself I had too little time to tackle.  In reality, I actually had the time but needed to shift my focus.  Yes, I got to relax after a busy day and recharge enough to do other things I love.  I went to bed more satisfied than I would have if I have watched several episodes of something on TV.

What we can do

  1. Try an experiment.  Turn off all the computers and TV’s. Put down your phones for 2 hours at least once or twice per week.  What happens?  What do you notice?
  2. Make a list of things that you want to do
    • A bucket list for big and small things
      • Ask yourself why they are important
      • Move the most important things at the top of the list
    • Listen for the self talk too on what goes on behind the scenes.  This can influence if you sabotage yourself in these areas
  3. Create a new routine – add all the things you have wanted to include
  4. Try mindfulness or meditation
    1. This helps you to relax when it comes to time and ultimately can support you in creating more time because you are less anxious about it

I would love to hear your comments and experiences with time. Also, connect on how the past few months have affected you.  Feel free to make comments or contact me info@listeingtreestudio.ca .